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Friday 21st April
After accepting the challenge from Alkmaar to race for “The Challenge Shield”,
Minerva set about selecting an elite 8 with the sole intention of bringing the
Shield home. Unfortunately Minerva members responded with their usual enthusiasm
and managed to assemble a Men’s 5 and Women’s 3. Now the Dutch have some strange
rowing combinations but did not have categories to fit our selected crews. Mr.
Fry took the brave decision to create a super combo 8 with 4 men, 3 women plus
our super sub? To ensure we had some chance of winning we were forced to bring
Mr. Hamilton (Andy H) out of retirement. 2 years of inactivity had taken its
toll, but it was considered a better risk than using the other Andy, whose back
was prone to collapse at the talk of firm pressure. Andy U was to cox!
Departing from various airports, we all make it to Holland at different times.
Our advance party Andy H, travels alone to Alkmaar. The stragglers make it to
the bar opposite central station for some after flight refuelling, suitably
wetted and after much nagging from Andy H we depart for the station and make our
way to the welcome barbecue, late. Well no one told us we were supposed to be
there by 6:00pm. Fortunately we are picked up from the station by Wim in the
Alkmaar crew bus. This year we are also welcomed by 30 Bulgarians, a chance
invitation by an Alkmaar member to come up and row resulted in a great exodus by
coach across Europe. This was a great chance to practice the journey for when
Bulgaria joins the EU.
The Bulgarians gave us a taste of what is to come with a fantastic peasant salad
and unlimited quantities of Bulgarian Hooch. Due to the numbers Alkmaar decided
to let us cook our own food. A great social experience, however the cooking
skills were lacking, resulting in either red raw or carbonised black meat.
Fortunately most seemed not to worry as the Bulgarian hooch seemed to kill most
known household germs. Mike seemed to be particularly fond of the hooch and
spent the rest of the night learning Bulgarian, well that’s what he sounded like
after drinking one too many. A quick rendition of Sunshine Mountain, Bulgarian
folk dancing and singing the evening drew to a close.
Saturday 22nd April
We all meet at the rowing club by 10:00am to try out our various combinations.
Mike had lost the ability to speak Bulgarian, the effort in trying to learn a
language in one night seemed to tax his brain so much that it was now throbbing.
This year Alkmaar had decided to give us a better boat than in previous years.
She was called Ibis and had been rowed to many Challenge shield victories by the
Alkmaar ladies. Due to shortage of crew members we decided to try a number of
combinations in hope of finding one that could win.
The first combination was: Erika, Wendy, Mike, Gary, Chris, Mark, Kirsty, Andy
H. We decided that Erika should stroke, she wasn’t keen, but fair play, she said
she would give it a go. We put Andy H in the bow to try and balance Andy
Ursell’s bulk in the coxing seat. We tried, but the sight of the Andy H
submerging like a diving submarine changed our minds. He was just too heavy.
The second combination was: Erika, Andy, Mike, Gary, Chris, Mark, Kirsty, Wendy.
The rational behind this was that Andy H would provide much needed backup to
stroke, WRONG! Let’s say that Andy’s rating was the same as stroke, but the
catch was not necessarily going in at the same time. Too late to try out any
other combinations (we are only staying for 2 days) we brave it and row to the
race corner and back. We decide that Andy’s best position in the crew would be
on the bank, however Mr. Fry offers to coach from within the boat was accepted
and we put him at 5 with Gary taking his place at 7, good move as it proved
later.
It is usual at this point for Alkmaar to pull out some lung busting excursion to
a windmill/beach over 40K away. This year it was different, reflecting the
ageing members of the group we are to be introduced to cheese making. There must
be a catch we think, but no, we cycle to a farm just 4K from the club, down by
the AA race ladies start. We are introduced to the Farmer’s Wife who gives a
quick brief and dresses us all in Blue hat, over shoes and white apron (See the
picture link below). We enter the cheese making room to be faced by buckets of
white milk jelly. We spend the next hour with our hands in this white lumpy mix
of Curds and Whey, It didn’t look or smell like cheese. Some of the female
members thought it looked like ? And that’s definitely not cheese.
FACT 1: Did you know that cheese comes from Cows. (Well Wendy wasn’t
sure; she thought it came from Tesco’s)
We take a quick tour of the farm while the cheese is pressed. We returned to be
handed our cheese. Boasting rights: Hilda, Erika and James produce 660g
whoppers, Mr. Fry’s cheese turns out to be an anorexic 595g and is cruelly
laughed at. The farmer’s daughter appalled at their treatment of the club’s
elder statement reassures Mr. Fry that the best cheeses should be between
550-600g. How quickly their laughter turns to tears, Mr. Fry “The Master Cheese
Maker”
Showered, we head of for the evenings entertainment. We all meet at Colin and
Nicolean’s house prior to a Windmill tour for a few beers. Doreen turned up with
her new baby daughter Felicia for her very first Minerva outing, unfortunately
the father wasn’t able to come. It’s funny, Felicia's resemblance to the father
was uncanny, I felt as though I had met him before, but I hadn’t, had I?
We had been invited by an ex-Alkmaar member to tour his windmill museum. Now we
are all in the EU and governed by similar rules. Health and Safety for instance:
in the UK you now have to wear goggles if you play conkers. In Holland you can
walk up steep ladders with no handrail, walk on a timber deck 30 feet above
ground, again with no hand rail whilst the sails of the windmill rip past your
ear. Ah! how refreshing to be able to make my own risk assessment, although I
did call my Solicitor first to make sure I could make a claim in Holland should
things go pear shaped. You are also allowed to cycle pissed, now that’s another
story.
Tour over we take the short walk next door to La Pampas. A Minerva favourite,
help yourself salad bar and tasty Argentinean beef steaks that melt on the
tongue. Washed down with copious quantities of wine and beer we have a great
time. Due to severe tiredness of the crew we depart for bed at 11:15pm, unheard
of in Minerva folklore.
Race Day - Sunday 23rd April
Last night Andy H had instructed his little fledglings to be at the club by
10:00am, never taking kindly to being told when to get up most turn up by 11:00.
Buoyed by the fine sunny weather we sit and chat for 3 hours (Nice one Andy)
until it’s our turn to boat. Becky spends her time trying to detecting the rise
in female hormones as the Minerva girls spend the time ogling every male package
that walks pass. Race time approaching the clouds appear, boat out of boathouse
no sun left. Boat on water it’s starting to rain, great.
Cheerfully we boat. Andy Ursell gets in and crunch, two days of drinking and
eating his ass has grown and the nice Ibis is now split in two, well almost. A
quick inspection reveals minor damage, we won’t tell the boatman until later on,
like next year. A quick and balanced row to the start and the nerves are playing
up. Kirsty is desperate, the men pee in the hedge. Kirsty is still desperate and
pees in the Café, not surprisingly she is chucked out. Suggest you use the
toilet next year.
We’re off, rating ? who knows what. Within 1500 metres we are caught by the
eventual winners, we pass two fours and seem to be having a good race. We can
see the Alkmaar first boat making steady progress towards us, we use them to
keep plugging away and amazingly are still ahead by the bridge, a tactical error
means we are sandwiched between the Bulgarian four and Alkmaar first boat. We
manage to push the Alkmaar boat to the corner and fade badly in the home
straight. Andy H desperately try’s to rouse the crew and thank Mr. Fry for his
top coaching, to his dismay he finds that he can’t talk and row due to oxygen
starvation, well there’s a first Andy lost for words. Dejected we trudged back
to the club where our cheerleaders, Becky and James soon have us smiling with a
round or two of beers. We soon find out that despite everything we have finished
2nd of 5 in 26 minutes dead, only 15 seconds slower than last years all male
crew. There must have been some real slackers last year as we finished 4th of 5.
Even better news was that even with 3 girlies on board we managed to beat the
Bulgarian Olympians by 39 seconds. Well rowed Girlies! And I mean that most
sincerely folks.
THE CHALLENGE SHIELD RESULT
This year’s challenge was to have been a straight race between ex-Minerva member
Colin’s crew and the Minerva crack eight. However the inclusion of the Minerva
Girls meant that we would have to resort to the tried and tested handicap
system. Alkmaar not used to the complex calculations needed to settle this
result, called the Dutch Rowing Association for advice. It seemed that each kilo
of Muscle is worth 3.43 seconds. Now, not to over complicate things we decided
to pick our 3 lightest rowers which obviously were the women. Andy H did offer,
but 98 kilos is not light. The 3 members from each crew were weighed and results
tabulated using the flip chart method.
Alkmaar:
23:19
Minerva: 26:00
Before handicap Winners Alkmaar, but!
The result
is below, reveal slowly to increase the suspense
WINNERS
MINERVA BATH
‘Challenge Shield Winners’
(adjusted time: 23:05)
We celebrate our win at the aptly named Victory Wok and proceed to eat as much
as we can. That’s one thing we are good at, stuffing ourselves. We decide as is
traditional to have one last drink for the road at Lindeboom, we fail and have
more than one, more than two, more than …..enough. This is the favoured location
for improving our twinning relationship, Colin will vouch for its success, and
Wendy is still trying, despite being at the wrong end of young. Sorry only
joking, Wendy has been very successful, but is now officially at the wrong end
of young. We drink and dance the night away, well its Monday 2:30am by the time
we leave all having drunk far too much. We say goodbye to Rolf Harris and the
smoking dancing dude, who was he? never seen before, probably never to be seen
again. We wobble our way out of the town centre and head home on mass. Strangely
the road seems a bit more bumpy than usual. Janneke is given a wide berth as she
struggles to keep her bike in a straight line. We turn round on hearing the
scraping of metal to see Janneke heading off down the bank in to a dyke.
Initially we think no harm has been done as she seems to be laughing.
Unfortunately it soon becomes obvious that she has done more than just damage
her pride. It turns out that she has broken her leg in 4 places and is taken to
hospital by Ambulance, sirens wailing. (Update: This turns out to be very
serious and will need 7 weeks of rest)
Taking the Challenge Shield home - Monday 24th April
We meet up at the station to hand back our bikes and say goodbye to our
wonderful Dutch hosts and Colin. Gary and Becky have decided to stay on for
another day, cheaper flight on Tuesdays. Colin, we’re all staying longer next
year so you’ll need a bigger house.
The weekend was and hopefully always will be the highlight of the Minerva
calendar. Each year is special, we must thank and remember the people who in
1945 laid the foundations of this wonderful twinning relationship. Mind you,
after 60 years you would think they would be fed up with seeing us. I hope not,
with the move to Newbridge we have many new members yet to experience the close
bond between our clubs, we hope to build on that when Alkmaar visit in
September.
THE EDITOR
Cheese making pictures.... |