|
The Alkmaar AA Race 2005. |
|
22e Akersloot – Alkmaar Race |
|
After our sensational and surprising victory last year, Alkmaar again invited us to defend our title as best dressed international crew and race for the infamous Challenge Shield. As in previous years the Minerva organising committee was made up of the Andy Hamilton (Club Captain - Alkmaar Branch) and Chris Fry (Vice Captain - Amsterdam Branch). Together they plotted the defence of the shield. To find a crew worthy of the defence was going to be a hard task, would it be the super fast Dads crew or the Ladies crew of last year with new member Vicky. After hours of deliberation it was decided that the winning eight of last year would defend their title. A luxury this year was that we actually had more people than seats, 5 bow side for the eight, now this was an unheard of situation. Due to his great experience and sound judgement Mr Fry was chosen to select the crew, and alas LardyMan Hamilton was put out to grass, despite his firm buttocks his legs have turn to jelly. The final selection was as follows. Men's Veteran 8 : Mike Ashman, Mark Smith, Chris (Apollo) Fry, Tony Gray, William Wadsworth, Mark (Eros) Melbourne, Andy Ursell and Gary John - coxed by a lovely Dutch lady who's name escapes me. Ladies Veteran 4 : Judith(Doc) Fox, Wendy Lloyd, Vicky (I'm sure she has a surname but maybe not) and Kate (I never get hammered) Flint - coxed by Hilde Hoving So with crews selected, we booked passage with EasyJet. KLM and Bicycle and set off for Holland. Friday 22nd April: One thing we have learned over the last 10 years is that early morning flights are not on, so the experienced among us caught the 13:05 from Bristol. Mr Hamilton flew cargo from Southampton due to his increasing weight, William and Judith went on the honeymoon flight, nobody told them that KLM don't fly at 1 mile, so they will have to save that experience for another day . Due to their earlier flight Mr Hamilton, William and Judith make their way to Alkmaar leaving the main party to fend for themselves. You would think that without Mr Hamilton 10 adults would have no problem buying a train ticket and boarding a train, think again. As in previous years someone always manages to get lost or misses the train/plane. The first hurdle was using the automated ticket machine. The Dads led by Mr Fry, buy 4 tickets on one credit card, sorted! Only 6 more to buy and 6 minutes to make the train. Easy you would think, the instructions were even in English, but no after 5 minutes and 30 seconds, 6 different credit cards, Guilders, Euros, Pennies and anything else they could get in the machine we had managed to buy all 6. No fear the platform is just below, down the escalator and on to the now waiting train, doors close and off we go. Now who are those two sorry looking faces on the wrong side of the door, yes we've done it again, blink and they missed it. Kate and Andy Ursell look at us forlornly as we accelerate from the platform. Laughter erupts at Andy's attempts to open the door, surely he will let go by the end of the platform. Party reunited at Sloterdijk we head for Alkmaar, surely nothing else could go wrong. The train being crowded the elderly members of the party slip off to find a seat, on arrival at Alkmaar station they get off, Opps! wrong station . A quick sortie up the platform finds the rest off us still on the train waiting for the next station stop - Alkmaar North, Doh! We arrive at the rowing club after a short walk to be met by our hosts and the advance Minerva party, as is the custom we soon have the mandatory beer in hand. Liesbeth had prepared a feast fit for Gods! a tasty blend of Indonesian and Thai delights, washed down with more mandatory beers. Picked up by our hosts for the weekend we head off for a good nights sleep. One last thing, Who the F*** is Terry? Another story that you had to be there to enjoy. Saturday 23rd April As is usual we have arranged to pick up our transport for the weekend, 3 speed touring bikes with sprung comfortable seats and dodgy brakes. Like a mass start of the Tour de France we head off to the club, within minutes the first moans start "My bums hurts", "The brakes don't work", "How do you change gear". Oh my god it's turning in to a Sunday school outing, Mr Hamilton in his fatherly role soon placates his flock and we wobble off in the wrong direction, Mr Fry, also known as the navigator goes solo and makes his own way to the club. 3 hours later, 3 cups of coffee they arrive looking slightly dishevelled. (Please note: Mr Hamilton has noted that Erica and Kate seem to cycle with their eyes closed, they have no clue as to where they have come from or where they are going.) Due to Mark Melbourne arriving by bicycle later that morning it was with great reluctance we allowed LardyMan to sit in for our practice outing in the Octopus. A short technical outing followed with a tour into town to watch the dragon boats. Now despite being at least 30km from the sea we could hear a strange whooshing sound like sea rushing over a pebble beach. We looked left and right, but no sea and definitely no beach. At last a clue, a puddle passed by, no a froth passed by. Eureka it was now clear, Mr Froth himself was using the Cresta technique. Just dip the blade in, not too deep, skim across the surface and then pull the last 6 inches as you whip it out. Ah pure Hamilton. Outing over, we discover that Alkmaar have resorted to the ancient art of trying to tire us out before the race starts. We are going to visit a nice windmill called the Museummolen in Schermerhorm, 4 metres below sea level, the normal depth of Andy Hamilton's blade. Now this was going to be exciting. Setting off at a pace we follow Liesbeth and Janneke down various paths, tracks and roads. After 30 minutes we seem to be going round in circles, every sign says Alkmaar 12 Km. Eventually Liesbeth asks a local! 'Do you know where the Windmill is?' Now this may seem like a silly question as we are surrounded by windmills. After much discussion and hand waving we head back to Alkmaar! indeed we had been cycling in circles. Once there we spend a good hour looking round the windmill, the steep stairs and turning main shaft were alarmingly dangerous, Health and Safety would have closed it down had in been in the UK. Visit over we head back to the club, but not before finding a pub, more beer, apple pie and cream, Yum Yum. back to the club we prepare for the night out at the Italian Taormina. A regular from previous years we settled down to our table, unfortunately more people turned up than expected and we have to split into two groups. The elite members of the group decamp to a smaller table, are served first, have more wine and a sweet. Tony (My Oakley's are real) Gray is not impressed and tries to steal our wine. Warning! don't get between Erica, Vicky and Liesbeth and a carafe of wine, wisely Tony backs down with his tail between his legs and skulks back to his table. The Revelation !!!....Vicky (never one to put her foot in it) asks Liesbeth about her daughter - Janneke !!!! The silence is deafening, Liesbeth's face is a picture, ouch! the lead balloon has dropped. 'What do you mean my daughter, she's only 10 years younger' spurts a wounded Liesbeth. Vicky, now digging frantically just about manages to extricate herself from a potentially damaging international incident. Recovered, she inquires about William, our esteemed club captain, 'How old is William' she asks. 33 we reply, 'God I thought he was at least 40. Insult after insult she eventually moves to Andy Ham. 'He must be 45, surely' Shaken, she decides that silence is golden. Meal over we head to another bar for "One for the road" Three beers later we all head for our respective hosts. Now Erica and Kate are worried, they haven't a clue where they are or where they are going. Step aside the Knight in Shining Armour, Sir LardAlot sweeps them up on his charger and disappears in a flash. Delivered, tucked in and bedtime story he makes his way to his hosts who have long since gone to bed. Sunday 24th April - Race Day Despite not rowing until the afternoon heats, Andy Hamilton insists that we are at the club for 9:00. Dream on, and most do, arriving just in time to see the finish of the first heats at midday. The second heat is fast approaching, time for tactics. Now the experienced members of the ladies crew having done the race before and sit everyone down. Okay, off the start wind it up to, and wait for it... light pressure. we should have guessed this wasn't going to be a fast time, the picnic hamper and champagne were a big clue. With a strong tail/side wind it was going to be a record day, and a record it was. The slowest time since records began. 28:53 minutes, 10.39 Km/hour and 5 minutes after the winners. Now this is taking competitive picnicking to a new level. The men's crew having trained for months in the run up to the event, set off at an unbelievable pace, catching the crew ahead at quarter distance. However, mentally weak this signalled a time for a rest and we sat along side the geriatric eight for the next quarter. Confused ranting from the bow four confused the stern four, our pace dropped still further, we were in danger of going into reverse. A rousing call from 6 shocked the crew into action and we speed away from the "Retirement Eight". Catching our ladies with every stroke we almost pass them on the finish line with a slower time than last year. Had we done enough to hold onto the Shield, only time and much fixing would tell. Refreshed with beers at Nicolien en Colin, we set off to aptly named Victory Wok restaurant to eat and concoct our plan for Victory. Andy Hamilton the master of Shield spin pours over the results and applies many of the handicaps that have in previous years have resulted in Victory. Now you might be lulled into thinking that we were home and dry, Andy decided that the fastest boat speed would win and we could choose the Alkmaar crew. Being the master of fair play we choose the Alkmaar old ladies Eight, despite their age they always put up a good fight, but surely not in our league. Imagine our horror when we discover that alas our game is up, the shield is lost. I won't embarrass the crew with the speeds but it was very, very close - 0.06 seconds. The night had come to an end, we settle in Cafe Lindeboom for a last drink. 2 hours later and several drinks later we are still there. The music is pumping (Air on a G string, strange but true) and as is usual a minor party/dance feast ensues. Old acquaintances renewed we drink until closing - 2:30 am. A number stagger to the local Kebab house and make it home this year without the attractive young girl who took pity on him last year! Monday 25th April - Its all over We meet at the Central station to drop of our Bicycles and settle down for coffee before saying our goodbyes and head home. Now remember the ticket fiasco of day one, 14 people, one ticket machine. Surely it couldn't go wrong again, Single, Return, OAP, you name it we bought them. Those who had come for the first time decided to stop in Amsterdam for a lightening tour. The old hands head straight to Schipol for a rest and burger. Now Tony (I'm careful with my Money) Gray buys 3 tickets to Amsterdam, but decides to give the tour a miss and head straight to Schipol, we jump on the airport train and stand next to the ticket collector, how unlucky could you get. Despite his best attempts to fain deafness, stupidity and military air, the ticket collector has heard them all, 11 euros later we arrive at the airport. Checked in we snooze until boarding and make an uneventful trip home. As in previous years we have had a fantastic time. The first timers are hooked and can't wait until next year. Rumour has it the shield will be raced between two composite eights next year, should be fun. Again thanks to all our hosts who made us very welcome Needless to say we are all looking forward to their visit later this year and a return visit next year. THE EDITOR |